Healing sounds beautiful — until you actually start working with resistance in healing.
Suddenly, the path that seemed inviting can feel heavy.
You might notice yourself avoiding practices you once felt excited about.
You might feel numb, tired, irritated, or strangely afraid.
This is not failure.
This is resistance — and it is a natural part of healing.
What Is Resistance, Really?
Resistance is not your enemy.
It is not laziness, weakness, or self-sabotage.
Resistance is protection.
It is your nervous system’s way of saying: “I’m scared. This is unfamiliar. I’m not sure it’s safe yet.”
For many of us, change — even good change — feels risky.
We learned long ago that it was safer to stay small, to stay hidden, to stay quiet.
Healing invites expansion.
And sometimes, expansion wakes up old fears.
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How Resistance Might Show Up
Resistance doesn’t always feel like fear.
It can show up wearing many different masks:
- Procrastination (“I’ll do it tomorrow.”)
- Overwhelm (“There’s too much, I can’t start.”)
- Cynicism (“This won’t work for me anyway.”)
- Forgetfulness (“Oh, I forgot to meditate today again…”)
- Physical tiredness (“I’m just too exhausted to do anything right now.”)
All of these are normal.
None of them mean you are doing healing wrong.
They are simply ways your system tries to protect you from perceived discomfort.
✨ Resistance often has roots deep in the body’s survival wiring. If you’d like to explore how fear lives in the body and how to gently soften it, you might enjoy this guide:
Where Fear Hides in the Body →
A Soft New Relationship with Resistance
Instead of fighting resistance, what if you made friends with it?
- What if you paused and said:
“I see you. You’re trying to protect me. Thank you.”
- What if you asked:
“What are you afraid might happen if I change?”
- What if you offered comfort, instead of judgment:
“It’s safe now. We are safe enough to grow.”
By softening toward resistance instead of battling it, you transform it.
You reassure the parts of you that learned long ago that safety meant staying small.
Healing does not mean erasing resistance.
It means creating a new field where safety and expansion can coexist.
If you’d like to explore how resistance connects with your nervous system — and how to meet it with care — this reflection by Deb Dana is a beautiful companion. Her work invites a soft, relational approach to healing — one that honors your pace and your body’s wisdom.
Gentle Practices to Work with Resistance
When resistance arises, you might try:
Naming it out loud
Simply saying, “I’m feeling resistance right now,” helps bring it into conscious awareness.
Soft grounding practices
Return to the body: feel your feet, breathe slowly, place a hand over your heart.
Tiny permission steps
Instead of pushing, ask: “What is one tiny thing I could allow today?” — even a single slow breath is enough.
Releasing harsh timelines
Healing is not a race. There is no behind. Trust the wisdom of your unfolding.
Welcoming all feelings
If sadness, anger, or fear surface — they are part of the thaw. They deserve compassion, not rushing.
When to Rest, When to Gently Persist
Sometimes resistance signals true exhaustion: a need to rest, to breathe, to let the ground settle.
Other times, it is simply old survival wiring — cautioning you against growth that is actually safe now.
And occasionally, when resistance deepens into shutdown, it can bring a quiet despair or disconnection. This guide gently explores those moments, and how the body tries to protect us through collapse.
Other times, it is simply old survival wiring — cautioning you against growth that is actually safe now.
Learning to listen — softly, honestly — will teach you which is which.
There is no shame in resting.
There is no shame in needing time.
Healing is not about pushing through; it is about listening deeper.
✨ When resistance feels overwhelming, grounding into the body can create new pockets of safety. You might wish to explore simple grounding practices here:
Grounding Practices to Calm the Nervous System →
If resistance feels confusing or overwhelming, these two resources may gently support your journey:
• Anchored by Deb Dana
A deeply compassionate guide to understanding your nervous system’s protective patterns. Deb Dana’s work helps you build a steady relationship with safety — not through pressure, but through presence and small, trust-building steps.
• The Vagus Nerve Deck by Melissa Romano
This 75-card deck offers science-backed, polyvagal-informed practices to help soften survival responses. Each card is a small step toward safety, ideal when resistance makes bigger practices feel too far away.
Healing doesn’t have to be dramatic. Even a single moment of soft presence can begin to shift something old.
A Gentle Closing Reflection
You are not broken because you feel resistance.
~You are wise.
You are protective.
~You are unfolding, in your own sacred rhythm.
Every time you meet resistance with kindness instead of force,
you plant a new seed of safety in your body and your life.
Healing is not about conquering yourself.
It is about befriending every part of you — even the ones that tremble at the doorway of change.
As you soften old patterns of resistance, you may naturally open into healing deeper emotional landscapes. If it calls you, continue here:
Healing Emotional Patterns →
One of the emotional landscapes that often lives quietly beneath resistance is shame — that heavy sense of not being enough, or being somehow wrong for needing what we need. Meeting it with care changes everything. You’re welcome to explore this gentle guide to healing shame if it feels resonant right now.
🌿 Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I feel even more tired after starting healing practices?
Fatigue can often surface when you finally let go of constant tension and vigilance.
Your body may be asking for real, deep rest — the kind it was too afraid to allow before.
– Trust this slowing down. It is not failure; it is a soft recalibration toward safety.
What if my resistance feels too strong to even begin?
Start smaller than you think you need to.
Sometimes one breath, one hand placed gently on the heart, or even simply acknowledging the resistance out loud is enough to shift something inside.
– Healing doesn’t demand leaps. Tiny noticing is enough.
How do I know the difference between healthy rest and protective resistance?
This knowing unfolds over time, but a soft starting point is:
- If you feel peaceful when resting → likely true exhaustion needing care.
- If you feel restless, guilty, or emotionally heavy when resting → likely protective resistance asking for gentleness and slow encouragement.
Both rest and hesitation deserve compassion, not judgment 🪷
Your unfolding is already underway — and it’s beautiful.