Test for Emotional Abuse
A compassionate, free self-assessment to notice patterns like gaslighting, silent treatment, control, criticism/contempt, and the Jekyll & Hyde cycle. This is not a diagnosis — it’s a supportive mirror to help you get clearer.
Choose the option that fits most of the time. You’ll get a gentle reflection plus category insights (gaslighting, criticism/contempt, control/isolation, stonewalling, intermittent reinforcement, workplace, parents/family, and impact on self). Your data stays on your device.
1) After disagreements, do you doubt your memory or sanity because they insist you “imagined it”?
2) Do they deny hurtful things they said, even when you remember clearly or have messages?
3) Do you feel confused after conversations, unsure what is true anymore?
4) Are you mocked, belittled, or called names (even as “jokes”)?
5) Do they roll eyes, sigh loudly, or use sarcasm to shut you down?
6) After you share a feeling, do you get blamed for being “too sensitive” or “dramatic”?
7) Do they limit who you see, what you wear, or how you spend money/time?
8) Do you hide messages or change plans to avoid their reaction?
9) Do they check your phone, accounts, or location without consent?
10) After conflict, do they withdraw affection or refuse to talk for long stretches?
11) Do they block repair attempts (no eye contact, changing subject, leaving the room)?
12) Do you walk on eggshells to prevent the silent treatment?
13) Do they switch quickly between tenderness and cruelty (“Jekyll & Hyde”)?
14) After you consider leaving, do they love-bomb (promises, gifts) then slip back?
15) At work, are you shamed publicly or threatened privately to force compliance?
16) Are expectations constantly moved (goalposts shift, unpaid overtime framed as loyalty)?
17) Do parents or family members use guilt, shame, or withdrawal to control you?
18) Do you leave interactions with family feeling smaller, guilty, or afraid to set boundaries?
19) Do you feel you must shrink or self-erase to keep the peace?
20) Do you feel anxious or physically unwell (stomach drop, chest tightness) around them?
This self-assessment highlights patterns, not diagnoses. High scores suggest your nervous system has worked hard around coercive control, contempt, or unpredictability. With steady safety cues and support, patterns can change.
FAQs
How accurate is this test for emotional abuse?
It’s a reflective tool, not a clinical instrument. Use it to clarify your experience and decide on next steps (documentation, boundaries, support). If you feel unsafe, trust that feeling and seek local help.
What are the 7 signs of emotional abuse?
Common signs include gaslighting, chronic criticism or contempt, control, isolation, silent treatment/stonewalling, intermittent affection (“Jekyll & Hyde”), and fear-based compliance. See the full guide: 7 signs of emotional abuse.
Can emotional abuse be unintentional?
Yes — impact matters more than stated intent. Real change looks like responsibility, learning, and consistent different behavior over time.
Is emotional abuse a crime?
Laws vary by region. Some places recognize coercive control within domestic abuse laws. For legal clarity or safety planning, contact a local domestic violence service or legal aid organization.